I spent something like 2 hours creating and modifying this. I don't regret those hours.
Even thou I think that copyright law should be reformed much more radically, I admit the fact that homo sapiens when in crowds has big inertia. So, small steps it will be.
I have twofold feelings. I'm glad that worldwide average morals are much ahead of the law. But it's risky.
PS Thanks to http://copywrongs.eu/ for their initiative!
Friday 24 January 2014
Thursday 23 January 2014
My life before USSR ended in 1991, very brief insight
I was born in Riga and grew up in Riga except for early childhood and summers in countryside.
My parents were not born in Riga, so I'm 1st generation Riganian. They were working in science and educational institutions at that time as well as most of their working lives.
Up until 1985 (approximately of course, I think it rarely happens overnight) I was 99% classical product of USSR with just some (and mostly) annoying hint that different perspective(s) exist. I defended socialism as a political system if somebody tried to compare it to others.
I voluntarily took a position which most probably doesn't have a name in english speaking world, latvian "politinformators", russian "политинформатор". Basically a guy (starting at age around 10 or 11!) who reads some newspapers, thinks he has figured out what's most important there and then tries to explain it to classmates. I have vague memory that the main criteria for choosing a topic was kind of easy - by font size of the headline :D I officially had 15 minutes per week for class action, including the right to have feedback from classmates and evaluate that feedback on the fly. The content was headlines on the first pages of official press = official view of external politics of USSR and internal politics, basically bigger or smaller decisions of Communist party of USSR or Latvia SSR on political, economical, social, cultural, every one and each aspect of citizens' lives.
My hobbies were reading enormous amount of books, seriously extra mathematics, trying to figure out how different tech works, mostly electronics. I wrote my first code during that time in assembler like code of so called programmable calculators.
Don't get me wrong, I was alive child. I have some record of nastiness like pulling the (right) girls by hair, tripping somebody and skipping homework occasionally, but mainly my grades were very good and I had my behaviour rate of "satisfactory" most of the time. Meaning, I was becoming an exemplary soviet citizen as it was called at that time. Ew, I hated sports, but managed somehow by trying hard enough in order NOT to stand out too much, even got some insignificant youth grade in RLD. NOT standing out was one of critical properties of exemplary soviet citizen, btw :|
I remember that sometimes at night I was afraid that bloody imperialists will drop atomic bombs over Riga. Later on I learned that my parents being part of science system got a small piece of land outside Riga to build small cottage and grow some peas just for case like that. At that time, however, I thought it was in order to have a place to punish me by some work during weekends :D Even more later I recognised that I have learned from my father how latvians build small cottages, it's more like real house by functionality if not by size.
I clearly remember leaders of USSR dying one after another during first half of eighties, because TV showed just classical music and ballet on those days, we got free day from classes, but were gathered together in school in order to watch funerals, some teachers were crying watching it. Brezhnev, Andropov, Chernenko, that was the order. And I didn't Google it while writing in order to be sure of names or the order. Now I tend to think that for me it was the first hint that the system is dying. And maybe it really was the hint and not just for me.
Around 1985 several things started to happen simultaneously.
As one of the first of my class I was asked to become a member of Komsomol. I refused, even not understanding why. And there were no consequences, just a hint that I will join _anyway_ during my mandatory service in Soviet military (which I luckily avoided, but that's another story too).
Gorbachev with glasnost and perestroika happened to USSR. Positions in Cold war appeared to be not so monumental.
At that time I started to recognise that not everything learned in school and in soviet society was true. I still believe that mostly it was, but there were a lot of humanly unbelievable and criminal lies around too.
My teens went wild. My interests turned towards hanging around with peers, sometimes nights boozing, smoking, trying to approach girls. For a few times I was involved in street fights mainly happening just because we were Latvians and they were Russians. I became quite uncontrollable to the horror for my very tolerant parents and teachers. Fortunately, it was enough in me not to slip hard. My grades fell, but not completely to the mid or the other end of the scale. Sometimes I wonder how I managed it. Maybe there is simply more curiosity in me than were in other peers and I was not able to stand that much emptiness and routine? Maybe I was just saying fuck-you to society I grew up? I still have things to learn about me :) But maybe it was just teens.
So went the period before 1991 for me: learning things in school, learning to live, thinking about the meaning of life (it's 42 as we know now :) but that's worth a separate post); things in me changing physically, rationally, emotionally; things around me in society changing in a pace of express train instead of almost not changing at all before that; more or less boozing and hanging around. From today's perspective I evaluate it as almost normal teen life with usual set of confuse and drive, but extra changes in society added extra excitement and confuse.
1990. I precisely remember "YES!!!" feeling when supporters of Latvia independence won election early 1990. At the same time I was sent to military aviation radar following preparation courses by Soviet military. And I remember exactly that there were thick feeling of threat starting to build up too. I spent summer of 1990 hiding from mandatory service in Soviet military. And I got into Latvian University in September.
Next was January 1991, Riga, barricades.
My parents were not born in Riga, so I'm 1st generation Riganian. They were working in science and educational institutions at that time as well as most of their working lives.
Up until 1985 (approximately of course, I think it rarely happens overnight) I was 99% classical product of USSR with just some (and mostly) annoying hint that different perspective(s) exist. I defended socialism as a political system if somebody tried to compare it to others.
I voluntarily took a position which most probably doesn't have a name in english speaking world, latvian "politinformators", russian "политинформатор". Basically a guy (starting at age around 10 or 11!) who reads some newspapers, thinks he has figured out what's most important there and then tries to explain it to classmates. I have vague memory that the main criteria for choosing a topic was kind of easy - by font size of the headline :D I officially had 15 minutes per week for class action, including the right to have feedback from classmates and evaluate that feedback on the fly. The content was headlines on the first pages of official press = official view of external politics of USSR and internal politics, basically bigger or smaller decisions of Communist party of USSR or Latvia SSR on political, economical, social, cultural, every one and each aspect of citizens' lives.
My hobbies were reading enormous amount of books, seriously extra mathematics, trying to figure out how different tech works, mostly electronics. I wrote my first code during that time in assembler like code of so called programmable calculators.
Don't get me wrong, I was alive child. I have some record of nastiness like pulling the (right) girls by hair, tripping somebody and skipping homework occasionally, but mainly my grades were very good and I had my behaviour rate of "satisfactory" most of the time. Meaning, I was becoming an exemplary soviet citizen as it was called at that time. Ew, I hated sports, but managed somehow by trying hard enough in order NOT to stand out too much, even got some insignificant youth grade in RLD. NOT standing out was one of critical properties of exemplary soviet citizen, btw :|
I remember that sometimes at night I was afraid that bloody imperialists will drop atomic bombs over Riga. Later on I learned that my parents being part of science system got a small piece of land outside Riga to build small cottage and grow some peas just for case like that. At that time, however, I thought it was in order to have a place to punish me by some work during weekends :D Even more later I recognised that I have learned from my father how latvians build small cottages, it's more like real house by functionality if not by size.
I clearly remember leaders of USSR dying one after another during first half of eighties, because TV showed just classical music and ballet on those days, we got free day from classes, but were gathered together in school in order to watch funerals, some teachers were crying watching it. Brezhnev, Andropov, Chernenko, that was the order. And I didn't Google it while writing in order to be sure of names or the order. Now I tend to think that for me it was the first hint that the system is dying. And maybe it really was the hint and not just for me.
Around 1985 several things started to happen simultaneously.
As one of the first of my class I was asked to become a member of Komsomol. I refused, even not understanding why. And there were no consequences, just a hint that I will join _anyway_ during my mandatory service in Soviet military (which I luckily avoided, but that's another story too).
Gorbachev with glasnost and perestroika happened to USSR. Positions in Cold war appeared to be not so monumental.
At that time I started to recognise that not everything learned in school and in soviet society was true. I still believe that mostly it was, but there were a lot of humanly unbelievable and criminal lies around too.
My teens went wild. My interests turned towards hanging around with peers, sometimes nights boozing, smoking, trying to approach girls. For a few times I was involved in street fights mainly happening just because we were Latvians and they were Russians. I became quite uncontrollable to the horror for my very tolerant parents and teachers. Fortunately, it was enough in me not to slip hard. My grades fell, but not completely to the mid or the other end of the scale. Sometimes I wonder how I managed it. Maybe there is simply more curiosity in me than were in other peers and I was not able to stand that much emptiness and routine? Maybe I was just saying fuck-you to society I grew up? I still have things to learn about me :) But maybe it was just teens.
So went the period before 1991 for me: learning things in school, learning to live, thinking about the meaning of life (it's 42 as we know now :) but that's worth a separate post); things in me changing physically, rationally, emotionally; things around me in society changing in a pace of express train instead of almost not changing at all before that; more or less boozing and hanging around. From today's perspective I evaluate it as almost normal teen life with usual set of confuse and drive, but extra changes in society added extra excitement and confuse.
1990. I precisely remember "YES!!!" feeling when supporters of Latvia independence won election early 1990. At the same time I was sent to military aviation radar following preparation courses by Soviet military. And I remember exactly that there were thick feeling of threat starting to build up too. I spent summer of 1990 hiding from mandatory service in Soviet military. And I got into Latvian University in September.
Next was January 1991, Riga, barricades.
Riga, 1991, barricades, my memories
Intro - why I wrote this
As Latvia commemorates 23rd anniversary of barricades in Riga on January 1991st, I recognised that I barely noticed those events since barricades themselves. Maybe because January 1991st was so much natural for me then and since, that I felt about it almost like about landscape we grow up or air we breathe.
Reading my twitter stream around those days and checking out links to opinions, pictures, videos I understood that I don't exactly like everything what is appearing in social&media space. Therefore I decided to write down what I still remember myself, mainly about what I did, what I saw, what I thought about and a little bit how I felt about it.
Disclaimer
After reading myself what I have written here I must warn you that big part of it is my autobiography material. Leave now or enjoy :)
Background
If you want to have a background on whole barricade thing, you can check out Wikipedia. It is obvious that this Wikipedia article is written from the perspective of just one side of the barricades, view of majority of modern Latvia. I recognise that the other perspective(s) exist even thou some would like to think it doesn't. I have read and watched some of that material too and saw that it consists of basically the same type of information: hard facts, testimonies true and false, interpretations of above-mentioned, expression of opinions and feelings. I'll try give you mine here.
Even thou there is surprisingly little material on Internet about barricades, there still is enough to get some of the thing. Google it :)
My personal background? I was first year student of Latvia University at that time (faculty of Physics and Mathematics, specialty of Applied Mathematics, which later become Computer Sciences). 19 year old youth knowing everything better than anybody, learning, hanging and boozing around. If you are interested in "before", "why" or just me personally, then read this post about my life before USSR ended in 1991, very brief insight. But you can skip it, I'm basically describing my memories of myself for myself there.
Barricades
It was January 1991 and I was in the mid of my first exam session and I was serious about it.
There were news that force structures are conflicting between themselves. I don't remember those exactly, but the feeling of threat was around.
I don't remember exact circumstances how I got the message, but it was clear and final: Soviet military have made open action against independence of Baltic states in Vilnius, Lithuania, there are deaths among civilians, we can't fight military, but we can stand the watch, we can sing.
I remember manifestation on the bank of Daugava on January 13th. I haven't seen crowd of that size since. Later it was reported that there were 500 000 people there. I don't remember speeches given, I remember singing. Some of those songs I still can't sing without strong emotion, sometimes I simply can't sing them.
I have no record or exact memories of most of the time between then and the end of January except for the following. I'm a bit confused now because I remember so little. But I still have strong sense of awareness of what had to be done then and how it was done. Even thou there were organisation, somehow I had a strong feeling that everybody knows what has to be done deep inside themselves.
I have a record in my diary on January 17th, late at night: "I want to go and beat them, but we just don't do this. I was standing watch for two nights to 14th and 15th, then fell sick. I should have been there, but I wasn't. Tomorrow I have the hardest exam of the session in university. I will not be able to stand it if they will suppress us, I have to leave country in such case."
Seem that I have to dig for my exam log in archive if it still exists there, because now I'm hearing that schools were closed during that time. I don't remember that.
One day conductor of the brass band where I played trumpet called. Usually he called when we were needed for some off-schedule celebration. Or a few of us for playing for funeral service. It was neither, we went to television building to support those standing watch. We were called off quite soon after getting the message that it is becoming too dangerous. I don't remember why. Part of the band were youth, some even not 18. The memory is a bit misty, I have to dig for the date.
I remember my feelings after I watched news on shooting on January 20th. Mostly desperation, hatred, confusion, determination.
Btw, this is why I don't like when people are saying that Gvido Zvaigzne was killed on January 20th shooting. They were killing him and he was deadly injured. 4 persons were reported killed, which made feel desperation. Gvido Zvaigzne was reported seriously wounded. This gave some hope. When he died of injuries on February 5th it made more desperation and hate because of living through 20th once more. At least for me.
I'm really surprised that today there is still no actual clue for public record of what really happened on 20th...
I think that just a few people back then were not confused at some extent / on something. Maybe some of them we call heroes or enemies now, maybe some went unnoticed. But one is clear for me and a hard fact: majority wanted out of USSR, majority wanted to continue where Latvia left in 1940 politically. I wanted out of USSR physically and I wanted to continue Latvia's path symbolically.
I definitely know that those days changed something in me. Maybe it was the end of my teens. Maybe it happened later on in August when the chaos in USSR reached it's apogee. But that's another memories, another blog post maybe.
Final question
I rationalised what I already knew while writing this post. For me, somehow, the change of the political and economical system came during my teens. Almost precisely the same time period for state as for me becoming a grownup person. Sound's like a major coincidence. Do you believe in coincidences? I don't, at least in big ones, but for me it really was. Is it possible to not to live through your teens? No. Was it possible for Latvia not to change at that time? My answer is no.
PS
If you were patient enough to read this through and you have noticed I'm putting the hard facts wrong, give me a message. Mostly I'm asking my friends, relatives and peers about what we did together during those days. I'm most definitely NOT willing to start a political discussion on this post and I won't, comments disabled for this post, you can express yourselves in twitter or facebook :P
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